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The Cannibal King

 

The Cannibal King was feeling poorly, fatigued, headaches, digestive problems and more. So he made an appointment to see the Witch Doctor.

“I’ll run a few tests,” said the Witch Doctor.  The results should be back next week.”

During the follow up visit, the Witch Doctor reported the results, “Well, Chief, you’re going to have to change a few things.  You’ve got high blood pressure and a slight LVE. Your BMI is over the top, you’re about 80 pounds overweight and you’re wheezing like a grampus.  Your cholesterol is through the roof.  You’ve got too much protein in your urine, and your glucose levels indicate you’re borderline diabetic.”

“What does all that mean?” asked the Cannibal King.

“Well,” the doctor sighed, “It means that unless you want to die very young, and very soon, you’re going to have to change your ways. Start exercising regularly.  Take some vacation time to lower your stress levels. And most importantly, I’m recommending that you begin a vegetarian diet immediately.”

The Cannibal King phoned home immediately. “Honey, I’ll be home a little early today.  I’m taking some time away from the office.  I’ll walk home instead of being carried.  And, the doctor says I need to change my diet.  So, do you think you could could cook a couple of vegetarians for dinner tonight?”

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